Songs come from relationships
The prospect of co-writing can feel exciting but also somewhat daunting when you first start. Facing a blank page on one’s own can be hard enough. And the idea of doing so with a stranger? Or even worse, tackling a co-write with a friend and it doesn’t work out? I think there’s an understandable question for many people: “…is this blank-page-nervous -feeling doubled when tackled with another writer?”. Totally understandable. But perhaps there’s an equal and opposite line of thinking; in the right circumstances, can this blank-page fear not be halved, or at least, reduced when approached with another being?
For collaboration gives the opportunity for a break from the isolation (key word in these Covid times….) that comes from working on one’s own, with the possibility to gain another perspective. A co-write provides the chance to do something together which normally we face alone: seeking to coax a song from the ether. And so even when approached purely as an experiment, and independent of any imagined result, there’s the potential for the experience to provide a relieving, and even transformative, point of connection. And for those of us who may be stagnating in our solo writing at a particular point in time, a co-write has the potential to provide a kind of temporary “writing holiday”, giving a feeling of renewal upon returning to the “home” of one’s own work.
Over time, these thoughts have formed an approach which has really helped me to take the pressure off and to be more present in writing sessions, which I want to share with you. It’s a simple idea: co-written songs are born from human relationships. So rather than entering sessions thinking about manifesting songs as a first priority, I started to think more about forming a human connection with the person in front of me as the place to start. And flowing from there, seeking to find where there is common ground musically. What are we both thinking about currently? What are we each working on? How could I best support and be supported here? Who might this song be for? Arriving at connection points through the simple act of talking and listening creates the conditions for work to happen before a note is even played.
I’ve found this approach often leads organically to a combined feeling for the kind of song that can be written together. And so by leading with our human skills first like empathy, listening and critical thinking, we gain an understanding of how and in which direction to tailor our musical skills to the needs of that moment. And so leading with our human skills allows us to understand what that moment is and what it can be…
Songs come from relationships, which in turn become strengthened through the writing of the songs. So next time you step into a room for a co-write, take the pressure off, and think about starting with the person in front of you. If your first goal can be to create the human conditions for work to happen, you’re in a great place to begin.